I ate, I slept, I went to work and home again. Somewhere in all of that, depression seeped in, weaving its way --oh so stealthily--into the things I do. I hardly noticed, and by the time I did, I didn't care anymore. I began to breathe it in willingly.

And now I guess you could say I hit bottom. Yesterday I cried many times. Once while staring into a mirror, once alone in my bed, and once when I didn't mean to in front of a friend.

Today I search for the way to escape this shadow. I want to know what will make me care enough to keep going. I want a reason to get up in the morning besides work and habit. I want to know why things I cared about mean nothing at all to me now.

I guess I'm trying to find healing. But it's hard. It's lonely. It's sometimes more than I can deal with.

Song I'm singing:Whole New You, Shawn Colvin

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