Well, for all those of you who wonder, I spoke with Moby. It's over, and I wasn't even sad. It changed me.

The Cliffnotes version of what happened is this: I went to his house, we walked around a park a while, and he told me he's dating Medusa, a person I considered a friend. I realize now that in Medusa's friendliness and support, she was merely biding her time until Moby came to his senses and decided to date her.

Which he did, though I wouldn't call it 'coming to his senses.' More like losing his sense--Hello! I'm right in front of him. If he is not smart enough to see how amazing I am, he was never worthy of me in the first place.

And that was that. Over. An eight month crush simply smoldered to nothing, as if it had never been. That alone was sad, but nothing else really was. If this had happened to me a couple of years ago, I would have taken it intensely personally; feelings of worthlessness and rejection would have taken me months to recover from. Now I have more self-esteem, and no recovery time was necessary.

In fact, I've even found it in my heart to forgive Medusa for lying to me and acting nicey-nice. That's her business, and I still like her (but no longer trust her). She, however, would not even look at me when I saw her at a party. I don't know if it's her guilty conscience or what, but I found it humorous to stare at her and wonder how long she could legitimately avoid eye contact. Apparently a long time.

And then church happened, and two realizations along with it. 1. I still have feelings for Moby.They may be muted now, and I know that they are a waste of my time, but they are there. 2. Moby and Medusa do not appear to be dating anymore. Seriously. They lasted two weeks, and now they didn't even speak to each other at church. I was baffled. They are both very, very confused. Dude.

I am so glad I talked to him. I don't have to worry anymore whether he likes me or not. I don't have to hope that he'll call, or analyze anything he says to me. And best of all: I don't have regrets. I did what I felt was best. Like yellowducky, my life doesn't have a movie ending (yet), but one of these days I'll meet a superhero. I just know it.

Song playing on my life soundtrack: The only Living Boy in New York, Simon & Garfunkel

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