Things got bad suddenly. Now I'm for real: I will take my medication, even when I feel happy. I promise.

There seems to be a dichotomy in my brain that cannot be reconciled. When I'm happy, I don't understand why I ever get depressed. When I'm sad, I know that I will never be happy again.

And now I'm sad. Everything bad I've ever thought about myself comes back to haunt me. I'm ugly, I'm a loser, I don't want to exist. I'm paralyzed by my own thoughts, and even though I know this is depression speaking, it's no consolation. When depression comes calling, I listen.

I'm at work, but unable to accomplish anything significant. I'm so glad it's Friday.

I'm a pitcher full of sadness. You want some? Cream and sugar with that?

Song on the soundtrack: In Need , Sheryl Crow

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