Guitars make me think of dreams. Was I meant to do anything beyond listen to the most beautiful music ever made? I guess that's part of the "something" I search for but still haven't found: the most beautiful song in the world. I'm hypnotized by beatiful music and I want to keep listening forever.

Lately I've been moving dangerously near to having an existential crisis. Too many thoughts move through me at once--I am no longer only myself. I am me as a child, a lost teenager, stranger on the street, an old friend. I can't locate a center; a me. It hasn't so far reached crisis mode, but I'm a little dismayed at this new development.

To explain the crisis better, imagine your 'soul' or 'spirit' as eyes. Imagine having 20/20 vision most of the time. Then, imagine that you wake up one day and for no reason at all, everything goes blurry and you can't focus on anything in the room. This is what an existential crisis feels like, only the blurry eyes are spiritual ones, I guess you might say. It's a very disorienting feeling. That's what it is like in my moments of crisis. Luckily I'm still hanging on to the concept of me.

And so it goes. Hopefully it'll all come back into focus soon.

 

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